Balancing Act

It is 11:55 p.m. and I am blogging. That is only noteworthy in that I should be working. The big block calendar which dictates my life right now is full. Two months ago I decided to take my super part time photography skills and make them my bona fide career. Adding it to the little book editing work I have done over the past year, I have gone from a SAHM (stay at home mom) to a WFHM (working from home mom) to a lady who has nearly lost her mind.

As I have witnessed countless times, when a mother goes back to work after a baby is born, things get sacrificed. It all becomes about balance. And while I absolutely love (times a million billion) that I work from home, it definitely presents unique challenges. Namely, when to shut off one aspect of yourself for another. I have no commute. (Amen!) I have no need for daycare. (Again, amen!) But I have no separation. Too many times in the past couple of days I have been placing orders while Handy Manny teaches my son Spanish, instead of cozying on the couch with him as I used to during his sacred 25 minute daily episode. I hate that. But man! I can accomplish soooo much in those 25 minutes! (um, mamas can I hear an amen?)

Several months ago I made the rule that I could not check email until naptime. Because once that mailbox opened, a whole world of appointments, orders, chapters to be read, questions, arrived. Kind of like Pandora’s box. It sounds great in theory and a perfect way to try and compartmentalize my life. But I have never been one to follow rules. Especially my own.

Does this have a point? *Sigh* Reality is right now I am a mother and worker all day every day. Reality is the home “office” has matchbox cars all over the floor. Reality is I will stay up late to edit pictures of someone else’s kid only to deal with my own when he wakes up at 4:30 a.m. (the past two nights…what is up with that???) Reality is I am booked through mid-March. And reality is I am not able to separate my worlds right now. While everyone says how lucky I am (working for myself/getting to be at home/no one's agenda but my own), please don’t envy me too much. I am just another mother trying to find balance.