When I shut the car door tonight, I realized that for the first time in nearly three weeks I was alone. That reality is probably the most overwhelming aspect of motherhood for me. Some people do not want to be alone, but after many years of singledom and even with my years as a married childless couple, I relish in it. I like my space. I like my quiet. I like the weightlessness of no one hanging on me.
At 5 a.m. last week I found myself rocking both of my boys at. the. same. time. Naturally, I found myself crying; partially because I found the moment so overwhelming and partially because I found it so wonderful. Therein lies the juxtaposition of motherhood for me.
A couple of days ago a miracle happened: Hudson and Tucker were both napping at the exact same moment. I texted five or so of my closest girlfriends asking what I should do "nap, shower, or buy a lottery ticket?" Their responses amused me and provided the insight our mothering styles. In reality, I didn't do any of the three. Instead I ran around screaming and waving my hands in the air.
Good thing. Moments later, both boys were up and crying in my arms.
3 comments:
Oh my gosh, I feel this way every time I actually get both the kids to sleep at the same time (maybe once a week). I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels because I know there are a million things that need to get done but I can't manage to think of one of them. This is why bills get paid late and my house is never clean! I can't even remember the last time I was truly alone in the house, or anywhere. You will have to share your secret on how you pulled that off. :)
Soooo.....did the running around, screaming and waving your hands have anything to do with the kiddos waking up from their nap!?! ha ha ha
would love to hear what the five responses were :)
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