In the beginning

I can’t believe I am really doing it. After all these years and people telling me one day I would cave and join in like everyone else, here I am.

No, I am not talking about blogging. Please—anyone who knows me well, knows I could ramble on for days into cyberspace with or without a blog. I am talking about motherhood.
Tomorrow, my life will change. Tomorrow, I will become a mother.

Or to step back—in reality I know I have been a mother for many months now. I first felt the joyful reality of motherhood when I heard the heartbeat on December 18th. I felt the helplessness of motherhood when the baby had hiccups and I couldn’t figure out how to make them stop. But tomorrow I will hold in my hands life I helped create. I will hold in my hands something which I will love more than myself.

So rarely in life do we know that as of tomorrow our lives will be different. So rarely do we see the events or obstacles that will define who we are. So rarely do we have the ability to prepare ourselves for these major life events. Childbirth, well, induced, - see-you- at- 6:30 a.m., Mrs. Harris, childbirth is one of those rare occasions. After almost making it through this entire day, I think it to be best we aren’t always 100% prepared for what lies around the next corner. How much better it is that we live each day to its fullest potential and just roll with the punches, so to speak. How good it is that we don’t know the exact moments when our lives may be shattered or improved or just altered. I say this because I don’t know if I have truly enjoyed today…mostly because I think I missed it. I didn’t live it to its fullest. I have wasted it over thinking (stressing)about tomorrow.