Up All Night

Hollywood imitates life or at least has tried this season with NBC's new show Up All Night. Tons of people have asked us if we watch the show and my answer is always a vehement, "NO!" After all, while it is funny to watch something you can relate to (like The Office), it is not as much fun to watch something you are living.
We, in fact, are frequently up all night and there is no comedy involved at 3:00 a.m. I continually wonder how I got two of the worst (baby) sleepers in the world. Tucker pained our ears from 11:30 until 1:34 the other night. I just wanted to die. My theory is that there is a trip wire in our hallway that sets him off every night within about five minutes of me going to bed. When I am up editing until 12:30 a.m. (or later), it can nearly bring me to tears if he cries out the second my head hits the pillow. It is possible that there is another tripwire along the side of his crib because he can be in the deadest of all sleeps and you can stand up from the rocker and he will wake the instant your arms cross the railing of his crib.

In addition to my trip wire reality, I figured that the past week offered some additional episode options. Cleaning off my phone camera, I came up with these...

**An episode about the random crap that a teething baby puts in their mouth. 

Feet taste delicious!

**An episode about taking your non-walking, non-talking baby to the dentist. For real. Do you remember the last time you got your teeth cleaned? Do you remember that metal scraper they attack the back of your front teeth with? Now place a twenty pound squirming, squealing baby on your stomach. Pure Hell. This combined with the chatty-Kathy dental tech who could not seem to clean my teeth as she shared her twenty minute tale of taking away her son's paci and the elevator musak is enough comedy for prime time. (We have a HAPPINESS window here, Lady. Clean MY TEETH!!!!)

**An episode about a 4 a.m. party in your bed when this Little Man and all of his friends simultaneously show up in your room. (There is something terrifying about the hurried patter of little feet rushing into your room in the middle of your dead sleep.)

This is just off the top of my head and ones that I have photographic evidence for. I might be in the wrong business. How much do those television writers get paid, anyway?!?