The Sorority

Taking a break from mulching all the flower beds on my 2nd Mother's Day

to take Hudson for his very first back-of-the-bike ride.

He loved it. Gotta buy him a helmet tomorrow!

I was never interested in joining a sorority. I disapproved of their like-mindedness and judgmental selection processes. Ironic that without attending a Rush Week event or required mixer I seem to have entered the largest sorority in the world: The Motherhood.

Don’t try to fool yourself; sororities and motherhood are very similar.

To maintain some sense of autonomy in the clique we come up with terms to detach ourselves: co-sleeper, baby-wearer, cloth-diaperer, breast feeder, helicopter mom, mom over 40, mothers that work outside the home, mother of multiples, and so on. It is all so silly. I understand the need to define ourselves by our choices, but I think it seems to be so competitive.

Which probably brings me to the second way motherhood is like a sorority: we are so judgmental towards each other. I used to consult a website discussion board for local moms quite often, but I had to stop. If someone mentioned that they “saw” a mother give their two year old Kool-aid, the other mothers went berserk. I admit that I am trying to work on this area in myself. I try hard not to question the choices of other parents. Even though I didn’t understand why the 5+ year old on the plane had a pacifier, I, one, did not have to deal with her crying if that was the only alternative and, two, do not have to pay for her orthodontist bill if her permanent teeth come in all crooked, do I? Why should I care what someone else does?

I really don’t want this to turn into any more of a rant. I guess it being Mother’s Day and all, I am just thinking about this girl group I lucked into. Yes, we are awful nit-picky and sometimes too critical, but we are all mothers. Let us just focus on that. For myself, I willingly recognize how lucky I am. I have many women who are only in my life because they are mothers. They happened to have a child near the time I did, and for only that reason we started hanging out and are now friends. For the women I knew before, motherhood is hopefully another layer to a pre-existing friendship. And for my own mother, entering this sorority makes me appreciate you even more.