Living in the moment

Hudson celebrated his one month birthday with a road trip to see his great grandpa Candy. We spent the weekend playing BINGO with a group whose average age was at least 70 years his senior, eating at local taverns where a "fish square" was on the menu, and being generally adored by a whole new group of people.


According to the books, the past month has been full of learning for Hudson. Each day his brain creates thousands of new connections. I have been reflecting on all the things I have learned in the past month myself and all the little moments I hope never to forget. Like Hudson, these memories and moments will be replaced later by more significant ones, but I can still dream that I will always remember...

• how sweet his little face looks when he sleeps


• the irrational, but persistent thought I have most nights that if I just concentrate hard enough, I can WILL him back to sleep ("Please go to sleep. Please go to sleep. Please...")
• the hilarity of the Moro reflex (when he acts like he is free-falling)
  
• how I have already done multiple things I said I never would (i.e. co-sleeping)


• the luxury of the little things (showering or eating with TWO hands!)
  
• the nastiness of his first diaper on formula (greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen)


• those fake smiles which mean the world--even if they are just gas
  
• the day he grew out of his first outfit (the sleeper with dogs on the feet)


• how my whole world is obsessed with time (ate at 12, sleep at 2, diaper change was last...)


• still not comprehending how someone so small creates so much laundry


• the rapid changes in his face when he is dreaming


• his sheer impatience when he is wanting fed
  
• the conversations I never thought Josh and I would have ("How was his poop today?")
  

Each day brings something new, something amazing. Hopefully when I am 80 I, like Candy, can hold my newborn great grandson in my arms.

For now, I wish to live in the moment.