Naps on the couch

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Yesterday I signed my teacher contract for this school year. Later I told administration I will be staying home for the remainder of the same. Confused? Yeah, I was too. Signing the original contract was a formality I am sure will be soon corrected. In the space where my salary is printed a $0 will be inserted. I will admit it was hard to look at my intended income and know that is money we will survive without for the next twelve months. But ultimately I made the decision I am going to be a stay-at-home mom until next August.

Those that know me (and after a six weeks of this blog, you do) understand how much I stressed over every detail of this decision. Long before Hudson was born I labored over what I would do. Beyond the advice that "you can never get back this time" and "you'll learn to live with less" I knew I had to make this decision on my own terms. Although I ultimately made the choice, I wasn’t completely sold even as I left the school yesterday.

Hudson was asleep when we arrived home, so I put him down to finish his nap on the couch. As I walked away, I looked back. This is what I saw and my heart swelled. This was the epiphany I needed. While I questioned and stressed, the reality is having my son has always been God’s plan and so is staying at home this year. When I get my new contract, I might change my non-existent salary from $0 to "naps on the couch." That sounds like a better deal anyway.